Throughout history women were taught and expected to be financially independent on someone else for their financial well-being. Today that would be a dangerous position in which to be. Times have definitely changed.
A Man
Historically, it’s impossible to talk about men, women, and money without talking about sex. Sex, money, and women are closely interwoven, and often we don’t even see the impact one has on the other because we’ve been raised for generations to accept this as the standard in society.
By the time we are 16, some even younger, we as women, or girls, are aware of the tremendous power we have over men – the power of sex. While most teenage boys are still awkward and goofy, we girls begin to notice that boys as well as men begin to look at us differently. Often when we are very young, we begin to notice that grown men will smile at us, some will whistle, some will make obvious advances, and others will just stare and drool.
It is this sexual need that men have that gives us women such immense power early on, and begins to shape our view about what to do and how to act to get what we want in the world. And the formula works…as long as we are young and sexually attractive. But time marches on, and things change.
We all heard the stories …--“ I didn’t leave because of money. Even though the marriage wasn’t good, at least I was taken care of financially. It scared me to think that I’d out there on my own. I haven’t worked for 20 years. I don’t know if I can make it on my own. Yes, our marriage has been falling apart for years, but my one saving grace was that I was OK financially…”
Please know I am not anti-men. I love men. I just do not want to be financially dependent on them. And so many women are today.
Too often I meet women in their 40s or 50s who are divorced and struggling. The story is pretty much the same: “ We were so happy when we were young. Then we grew apart. And he left me for a younger woman. For the first time in my life I am on my own.”
Unfortunately many marriages do not pass the test of time. The divorce rate is up; one out of two marriages ends in divorce. I am not saying plan on divorce. I am saying be realistic and set yourself up financially to succeed no matter what happens. Whereby sex gave us power when we were young, money puts us in control as we get older.
A Family
Some of us have the luxury of being able to count on the wealth of our families to carry us through the years. But that certainly is not the majority. Several of my friends, instead of depending on their families to take care of them are now the ones taking care of their families. The cost of elderly care is more and more expensive and the time taken out of work can take a toll in our finances.
Have you heard the story of a lady with a wealthy father? The father had amassed substantial holdings in real estate, business, and stocks in his lifetime. Her father remarried. His new wife had his will amended to award all of his holdings to her side of the family so when he passed away, my friend got nothing of her wealthy father’s estate. This story is becoming more and more common.
My point in these examples is not to dwell on everything that could go wrong. My point is to stress how essential it is to be prepared for whatever might happen. And to encourage you to tell yourself the truth about who or what you are depending upon for your financial future.
What is occurring within companies and government will highlight additional reason why depending upon your family for your financial support may not be your optimum choice.
A Company or A Government
The October 31, 2005 issue of TIME Magazine rant the cover story with the headlines – The Great retirement Ripoff. The article explains how major U.S companies have used up or literally stolen the pension of its workers out from them. Government legislation allowed companies to simply walk away from the promises they made to their employees to provide monthly retirement payments and healthcare benefits throughout the employee’s retirement years.
The article went on to state, “A TIME investigation has concluded that long before today’s working Americans reach retirement age, policy decision by Congress favoring corporate and special interest over workers will drive millions of older Americans – a majority of them women – into poverty, push millions more to the brink and turn retirement years into a time of need for everyone but the affluent.”
The writer highlighted five case studies of people who had fallen victim to the pension problem. Every one of the five cases was a woman. One 69 year old woman was cut off from her $1,200 monthly pension check which she was granted as a result of her husband’s death while working on the job. Today she collects aluminum cans to generate an extra $60 per month to survive.
Another woman, 60 year old, worked for Polaroid Corporation for 35 years starting as a file clerk and worked her way into the executive boardroom. She participated in an employee stock ownership plan (ESOP). She gave up eight percent of her salary to pay for this plan with the expectation that she would have thousands in retirement when she cashed in her shares. The company’s shares plummeted in value and because of poor business decisions and intervention by Congress this woman lost between $100,000 and $200,000. On top of that she was excepting tens of thousands of dollars in pension payments and benefits. When all was said and done she received a one-time check of $47.
The five women featured in this article all though they were set to be financially secure in their retirement years, and now they face poverty. This is outrageous. And there does not appear to be any indication of the pension system being resurrected in the future. It will likely become a thing of the past.
And this is not just happening to women, it is happening to countless husbands and family members as well. This crisis is not gender-specific.
So, again, if you’re counting on your husbands or family for your financial lifeline take this into account.
The Government – As far as the government is concerned both the Social Security system and the Medicare system are basically bankrupt.
It’s Your Choice
So a man, family, company, or government may be there for you in the future…I just wouldn’t count on it. I would not stake my entire financial future on something over which I do not have full control.
It simply comes down to making a decision – do I seek financial independence for myself or financial dependence? It is a conscious choice. If you choose financial dependence then know that you are agreeing to allow someone else in your life to be responsible for your financial well-being…and accept the good and the bad consequences that go along with that.
If, on the other hand, your choice is financial independence then you are choosing long-term freedom over short-term comfort. You’re deciding on the harder road up front – the road from which many women turn away – in order to have the easier, rewarding road in the future.
I am certain that many women who truly commits to taking control of her own financial life will succeed. Women are doing it every day.
Kiyosaki, K. (2006) Excerpt Rich Woman – Because I hate being told what to do! Rich Press
By Lorena Tankersley SFR, CHRE. Lorena is Listing and Short Sale Specialist with Keller Williams and president of the Women Investment Group (WIG). You can find her at http://www.womeninvestmentgroup.com/ To get the most current Neighborhood Market Activity report for your area go to http://www.buyandselllittletonarea.com/